This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
