I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
