its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
