So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
