Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
