You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
