I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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