no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
