So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
