Your face is a jimmy john
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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