so explain again why im purple
no
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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