Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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