yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize