hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
