i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
