i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
