Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize