YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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