I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
