just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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