Got a toothbrush?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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