I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
