Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i out mim tonsoeep
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
