direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
