At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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