you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
