i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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