this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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