Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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