??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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