I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
