Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
