thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
