all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
