my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
