one two three fourrrrnication!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize