i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
