that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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