I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
