Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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