i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
