Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
