What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
