i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
