I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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