Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
