Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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