that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
