can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
