physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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