dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
