I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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