I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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