Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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