im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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