I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
