a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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