If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it's like iHOP with fire
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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