it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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