This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
