I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Randomize
