Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
