U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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