At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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