We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
