It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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