u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize