you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
